i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
If I die, sorry about rent.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
