Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
