i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
