If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
