Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
