When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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