I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
