you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
