whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Hippo gnu deer
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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