I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
