uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
