3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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