Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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