my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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