why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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