hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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