I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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