Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
