You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
