I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
worst night to have a conscience
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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