i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The uberlube is also flammable
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
