butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
My hand turned me down
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
