I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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