Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
