just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We talked him into tasing himself.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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