i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
