you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
