she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
My liver just had a heart attack.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
