Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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