i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
