OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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