i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
