Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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