please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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