Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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