so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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