The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
