Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
