Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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