somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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