So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
