He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
