Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
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