I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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