Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
