OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize