Kiss
Puke
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
