Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
