he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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