from now on my penis is your penis
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
