i can't believe i had my finger in that
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
This is my gift to your gina
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
