So drunk, too bad you don't want this
She said her name was "party"
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
