Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize