there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
