i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
