What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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