WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
