We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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