Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
