just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
