So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
